Pay No Attention to the Ass Behind the Mask

My sister’s ex-husband’s father died. Follow that? If not, my mom would be happy to call you and tell you all about it. Then she might ask you when my sister’s getting back from vacation so she can give her this very important news.

My sister hasn’t been married to the ex for almost 20 years. An early marriage by a girl fresh out of high school too young to know any better. The man beat her, threw her against walls, was an alcoholic and a drug addict. In short, a real asshole. My mom’s a pretty innocent gal, so we spared her a lot of the details, but I’ve told her before in kinder terms that the fella's an asshole. Does that make it less sad that his father died? Of course not. Does his father’s death make him less of an a-hole? Nope.

Once over a game of pool, he, in a pretty drunken stupor, admitted to me how he had snowed my mom. How my mom once thought he was trouble but he won her over, wink wink. He was so proud of himself for taking advantage of a woman’s good heart and charitable attitude towards humanity by employing the simple means of deception and a smile. I really wanted to bust his head open that night. But I’m not really the fighting type.

After the divorce was final – thank God – and when my mom would mention him, I’d ask her, “Why do you keep bringing him up? Your daughter’s married now. To a good man, who has a job, loves her and supports her and their kids. It’s an insult to bring him up. Plus he’s a real butthole and lets just leave it at that.” But she didn’t want to believe what her first instincts had told her. Initially she couldn’t stand the man. And who could blame her? Take for instance the time he showed up at our house, drunk and belligerent, swearing at my dad. Cussing out my mom as well, I’m sure. And trust me that’s the least of it. But see, he eventually won my mom over, remember? Wink wink. Mom then chose to believe the lie. I suppose she liked the way he had “reformed” himself. It was such sweet piece of…FICTION.

So my mom won’t call me to find out when my sister’s coming home from vacation so she can give her the news. She’ll call other people. Somehow it’s very important that my sister know this info. Apparently what’s not important is the feelings of her current husband, or the feelings of my sister. What’s not important apparently is leaving the past dead and buried. Or so she thinks. So I guess I’ll have to call my mom instead.