Let them Eat Cookies

I'm not saying I told you so, but as I'm the guy who pimped Cookie Monster last week, I think I deserve some credit here. A recent article in Time Magazine explains how US investigators used cookies to get Bin Laden's bodyguard to give up information in regards to the original 9/11 attacks. Abu Jandal, a man who struck fear into his own bodyguards, a man charged to put a bullet in Bin Laden's head rather than let him be taken alive, started to give in when investigators gave him cookies. Who says terrorists aren't a bunch of softies?

The long and short of it is, the first day he lectured interrogators on the evils of the West; he refused their offer of cookies and tea because of his diabetic condition. But then the next day, when he was offered sugar-free cookies, something that a diabetic could eat, he softened and started to sing like a bird. The article goes on to say there was some other interrogating sleight of hand used, but the cookies were the turning point.

Didn't I just tell you Cookie Monster is so cool because we can trust what he says. Who knew cookies could change the world.

IN OTHER NEWS: the Iranians are blaming the Americans and Israelis for an attack by gunmen outside the offices of President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. They said, "Hire of the terrorists by the U.S. was verified based on investigation." Excuse me if I don't trust the Iranians' investigation and their obvious motives to blame all wrongs on everything US (read that as a pronoun and proper noun, please). Something tells me, the Iranians weren't using cookies in their investigation.

Cookies!

You want a hero. A real hero. Check out Cookie Monster. Here's a guy who's real. And for those of you who want to argue that he isn't real - I challenge you to find someone who's more real than he is, someone who really says what it is he's after, what he wants out of life. What he wants from you. He doesn't hide behide illusion. He just tells you what he wants. And that' s that. No pretense. No deception. Straight in your face, take-him-as you-see-him kind of guy. Just make sure you have cookies. Here's the complete interview, up close and personal.

Sick. Shit.

I just read a story about a man who ate his four-year-old’s eyes, and it saddens me to no end. Then the man went and hacked at his own legs with an ax – apparently he was in a wheelchair. Clearly he has some real problems. But that doesn’t take the sting out of the statement “my daddy ate my eyes” issued to the police by the son. The boy might – and I stress might – regain sight in his right eye, but it appears the other one is gone for good. Yuck. What the f*ck is wrong with people?

I know this is an isolated incident made visible by the grand powers of the Internet. But damn, people need to get serious about taking care of their kids. Help the kids to see the possibilities of the world. Please don't take their vision away be it literally, emotionally or spiritually. And it's time the rest of the world stopped turning a blind eye.

Finger Food

In protest of a company not paying employees their wages, a Serbian union official chopped off his pinky finger and ate it. He did mention that “it hurt like hell.” It hurt like hell? That’s Serbian folks at their best. Plain, simple, honest. And to his defense, he was making the point that the employees have nothing to eat and have to seek alternative sources of food. And you might wonder where he got this idea? From a woman who was going to do it herself, so he spared her the trouble.

When I first read this article I wanted to write something funny and make light of it. Obviously, the comic potential is there. And coming from Serbian stock myself, I felt I could get away with it. But instead I want to take the opportunity to point out these are a group of people like no other. I always tell people, “don’t piss of the Serbians. They’re crazy.” I grew up in a Serbian church and watched my fair share of political “discussions” between the angry men. But at the heart of it all, is a love and loyalty to all things Serbian, namely each other. This man ate his own finger in support of his brethren who were not being paid their wages. He sacrificed for them. And now people are taking notice. Crazy? Yes. Effective? Yep. Tasty? Probably not.

For years, in the ‘90s, when the world bombed the shit out of Yugoslavia nobody really cared about the Serbian people. When the US bombed Iraq, people cared. Like Iraq, the Serbs had a miserable leader who treated his enemies like dogs. Unlike Iraq, the media, and by extension the rest of the world, could not care less. There’s no doubt that Milosevic - the Serbian leader at the time - was brutal, tyrannical, disgusting. And though the Serbian people deserved better treatment during the bombing, the world turned its back on them. The people would pay for the leader's sins. So what are they left to do? Take care of each other as best they can, even if it means biting the hand that needs.