VOTE - FOR MY SAKE

Throughout my life I’ve made hundreds of rash decisions that have led me to where I am now. There’s no point to digging up the details of my past, but the point is I think I need outside advice. In the upper right hand corner of this page you will find a poll asking what I should do about my wife. Long story short is she’s been in contact with an Alien. She’s even gone so far as to say it visits us in our bed. At first I thought she was just…well…let’s just say I didn’t believe her. But she’s persistent and even more communicative with the Alien than ever before. So if you were I, what would you do? While this may seem like a joke – I wish it was – it isn’t. So please take the time and vote responsibly. My life literally depends on it. I’ll see how this works out for me, and if it goes well, maybe I’ll put more of my life choices to vote. Thanks for taking the time. Remember, making decisions for others is no joke. And, as always, please feel free to leave a comment - advice is welcome.

Out Of This World

So I don't think I've told you this yet, but my wife is having an emotional affair...with an Alien. Apparently, she talks to him quite a bit. And on many occasions, I am the main topic. The Alien is worried about me, he's not happy with my choices or actions. And Pamela's doing everything in her power to try to help me find the light, but...alak. Last night she got out of bed at 3am, and walked outside into the cold winter moonlight, wearing only her nightgown. She was actually quite beautiful standing there with the moon reflecting off her and the snow. When she came back to bed I acted like I was asleep. Then she started to chant. When we woke up this morning she asked me if I ever had the urge to walk into the light. I kept chewing my Crunch Berries and acted like I didn't hear her. It is a loud cereal, after all. If there really is life in outer space, what could they possible see in us?