Are You Experienced?

Here’s a flyer I found about the play. It’s kind of cool, but that's clearly not me in the picture. My hands are much more understanding. That’s the thing I hate about theatre. It’s not real. It’s just people acting like someone else. I mean, why didn’t they contact me to play the role of me? Can anyone possibly do a better job than I would? It’s not like acting is hard, right? Say some lines, walk around, change clothes. And why didn’t I just write the thing? I could have saved everybody a lot of time by just walking onstage and telling them what happened. If I don’t like this play, I’m going to stuff that playwright into a locker from whence he will never return. I wonder if Britney Spears is being played by Britney Spears or by an actress. I bet if Britney Spears were playing herself she’d be using a pseudonym. Remember, when the blizzard hits, your one true saving grace is Jimi Hendrix. Have you ever been to Electric Ladyland?